Woke Word of the Day – Double-Header Edition
Because the Ministry of Truth never sleeps, and neither do we.
December 5, 2025 – Whatfinger News
Because the Ministry of Truth never sleeps, and neither do we.
December 5, 2025 – Whatfinger News
Word #1: “Food Justice”
Definition (2025 edition): The sacred belief that your bacon cheeseburger is a hate crime against marginalized bodies and the planet, while imported quinoa flown in on private jets and subsidized by child labor in Bolivia is “anti-racist sustenance.”
Example in the wild: “Banning school pizza parties is food justice; forcing kids to eat cricket-protein patties dyed with Red 40 is reparations.”
Translation for normal people: Another excuse to make your groceries 40 % more expensive while Bill Gates buys up all the farmland.
Definition (2025 edition): The sacred belief that your bacon cheeseburger is a hate crime against marginalized bodies and the planet, while imported quinoa flown in on private jets and subsidized by child labor in Bolivia is “anti-racist sustenance.”
Example in the wild: “Banning school pizza parties is food justice; forcing kids to eat cricket-protein patties dyed with Red 40 is reparations.”
Translation for normal people: Another excuse to make your groceries 40 % more expensive while Bill Gates buys up all the farmland.
Word #2: “Climate-Amplified Migration”
Definition (2025 edition): The new euphemism for “open borders forever” now that “refugees” and “asylum seekers” stopped polling well. Apparently hurricanes in Honduras are caused by your F-150, so the only logical solution is to relocate the entire village to your cul-de-sac.
Example in the wild: CNN headline yesterday: “Climate-Amplified Migration Will Enrich Ohio Suburbs by 2040.”
Translation for normal people: “We’re importing new voters who will never pay property taxes while you pay the ones who actually live here foot the bill for the hotels, EBT cards, and free Obama phones.
Definition (2025 edition): The new euphemism for “open borders forever” now that “refugees” and “asylum seekers” stopped polling well. Apparently hurricanes in Honduras are caused by your F-150, so the only logical solution is to relocate the entire village to your cul-de-sac.
Example in the wild: CNN headline yesterday: “Climate-Amplified Migration Will Enrich Ohio Suburbs by 2040.”
Translation for normal people: “We’re importing new voters who will never pay property taxes while you pay the ones who actually live here foot the bill for the hotels, EBT cards, and free Obama phones.
”Word #3: “Menstrual Equity”
Definition (2025 edition): Taxpayer-funded tampons in the boys’ bathroom because feelings > biology, and if you question it you’re literally want trans kids to bleed out on the tile.
Bonus 2025 upgrade: Now includes “birthing persons with prostates” and “chest-feeding equity dispensers.”
Translation for normal people: Your 8-year-old son gets to learn about menstruation from a cardboard box that used to hold Bud Light.
Definition (2025 edition): Taxpayer-funded tampons in the boys’ bathroom because feelings > biology, and if you question it you’re literally want trans kids to bleed out on the tile.
Bonus 2025 upgrade: Now includes “birthing persons with prostates” and “chest-feeding equity dispensers.”
Translation for normal people: Your 8-year-old son gets to learn about menstruation from a cardboard box that used to hold Bud Light.
Word #4 (Dishonorable Mention): “Decolonize Your Plate”
Definition (2025 edition): Stop eating meat, dairy, wheat, rice, or anything your European ancestors domesticated, because those foods are “weapons of settler colonialism.” Approved meals: bugs, kelp, and guilt.
Translation for normal people: Starve quietly so the WEF can keep the ribeyes for themselves. Come back tomorrow. The dictionary of insanity adds new entries faster than Pfizer adds side effects. Stay frosty, stay fed, and never apologize for liking steak.
– Mal Antoni, Whatfinger News
Definition (2025 edition): Stop eating meat, dairy, wheat, rice, or anything your European ancestors domesticated, because those foods are “weapons of settler colonialism.” Approved meals: bugs, kelp, and guilt.
Translation for normal people: Starve quietly so the WEF can keep the ribeyes for themselves. Come back tomorrow. The dictionary of insanity adds new entries faster than Pfizer adds side effects. Stay frosty, stay fed, and never apologize for liking steak.
– Mal Antoni, Whatfinger News
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