Democrat Translation Service – Double Edition
Because what they say and what they mean are now two completely different languages
December 5, 2025 – Whatfinger News
Because what they say and what they mean are now two completely different languages
December 5, 2025 – Whatfinger News
Statement #1
What they said yesterday on MSNBC:
“We just want common-sense gun safety reforms.” Translation:
We want a national registry this year, confiscation next year, and your AR-15 melted down into rainbow-painted playground equipment by 2028. “Common-sense” is the word we use right before we ban everything that goes bang.
What they said yesterday on MSNBC:
“We just want common-sense gun safety reforms.” Translation:
We want a national registry this year, confiscation next year, and your AR-15 melted down into rainbow-painted playground equipment by 2028. “Common-sense” is the word we use right before we ban everything that goes bang.
Statement #2
What Kamala said at her “town hall” Tuesday:
“No one is trying to take away your gas stove.” Translation:
We already paid the Consumer Product Safety Commission to draft the ban. It drops in March. Your grandma’s 40-year-old stove is now a “climate felony.” Enjoy your $2,800 induction burner, comrade.
What Kamala said at her “town hall” Tuesday:
“No one is trying to take away your gas stove.” Translation:
We already paid the Consumer Product Safety Commission to draft the ban. It drops in March. Your grandma’s 40-year-old stove is now a “climate felony.” Enjoy your $2,800 induction burner, comrade.
Statement #3
What the DNC posted on X this morning:
“Reproductive justice means healthcare without barriers.” Translation:
Abortion on demand, paid for by you, up until the moment the cord is cut, and if we can get away with it, a few minutes after. Bonus points if the clinic is inside a Planned Parenthood next to a middle school.
What the DNC posted on X this morning:
“Reproductive justice means healthcare without barriers.” Translation:
Abortion on demand, paid for by you, up until the moment the cord is cut, and if we can get away with it, a few minutes after. Bonus points if the clinic is inside a Planned Parenthood next to a middle school.
Statement #4
What Chuck Schumer told reporters Wednesday:
“We’re not raising taxes on anyone making under $400,000.” Translation:
We’re raising the corporate rate, the capital-gains rate, the payroll-tax cap, the death tax, the gas tax, the “wealth tax,” the carbon tax, and seventeen brand-new “user fees.” Your effective rate is going up 18 %. We just won’t call it an “income tax” on the form so we don’t technically lie.
What Chuck Schumer told reporters Wednesday:
“We’re not raising taxes on anyone making under $400,000.” Translation:
We’re raising the corporate rate, the capital-gains rate, the payroll-tax cap, the death tax, the gas tax, the “wealth tax,” the carbon tax, and seventeen brand-new “user fees.” Your effective rate is going up 18 %. We just won’t call it an “income tax” on the form so we don’t technically lie.
Statement #5 (Bonus from yesterday)
What AOC live-streamed Monday night:
“From the river to the sea is just an aspirational call for peace slogan.” Translation:
We’re cool with wiping Israel off the map, but we’ll memory-hole the clip and call you Islamophobic when you quote us.Statement #6
What every blue-city mayor says after the latest riot:
“This was a mostly peaceful expression of righteous anger.” Translation:
Target, Foot Locker, and the Korean-owned liquor store are on fire, but the Nike store only lost three windows, so technically “mostly peaceful. ”Come back tomorrow. The dictionary gets thicker every 24 hours, and the lies get bolder. Stay armed with the truth.
What AOC live-streamed Monday night:
“From the river to the sea is just an aspirational call for peace slogan.” Translation:
We’re cool with wiping Israel off the map, but we’ll memory-hole the clip and call you Islamophobic when you quote us.Statement #6
What every blue-city mayor says after the latest riot:
“This was a mostly peaceful expression of righteous anger.” Translation:
Target, Foot Locker, and the Korean-owned liquor store are on fire, but the Nike store only lost three windows, so technically “mostly peaceful. ”Come back tomorrow. The dictionary gets thicker every 24 hours, and the lies get bolder. Stay armed with the truth.
– Mal Antoni, Whatfinger News, with Beth
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