Democrat Translation Service“
Because when they speak, it’s never quite what they mean.” Brought to you by the same people who taught us that “mostly peaceful” means “city on fire,” “undocumented” means “illegal,” and “investment” means “we’re spending your grandkids’ money.”
We take the latest pearl of progressive wisdom, run it through our patented Bullsh*t-to-English decoder ring, and give you the [brutally honest translation] in plain text.
Check back daily; the euphemisms change faster than Kamala’s accents. Fresh off the press – November 27, 2025 edition
Check back daily; the euphemisms change faster than Kamala’s accents. Fresh off the press – November 27, 2025 edition
- Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) on the White House-area shooting suspect being an Afghan national:
“We must reject the Islamophobic rush to judgment and focus on the real threat: white supremacy.”
[Translation: “Quick, change the subject before anyone notices the guy screaming ‘Allahu Akbar’ wasn’t a MAGA redneck in a Viking hat.”] - Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) on Trump’s new deportation plan:
“This is a cruel attack on hardworking immigrant families who are just seeking a better life.”
[Translation: “Ignore the rape-murder stats and the fact half these ‘families’ are military-age males with cartel tattoos. Feelings > facts, peasants.”] - NYC Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani (D-NY) celebrating his win:
“The people of New York have chosen hope over hate, community over chaos.”
[Translation: “Congrats, suckers. You just voted to turn the Big Apple into Caracas with worse traffic and $30 halal-cart falafel. Enjoy the ‘hope’ when the power grid collapses in 2027.”]
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