Oh look, the CDC just “discovered” (again, for the 47th time since 2000) that vaccines don’t cause autism. How convenient that this earth-shattering revelation drops exactly when parents are bailing on the childhood schedule faster than rats off a sinking Pfizer yacht. Funny thing: the Amish, who famously skip the entire 72-shot parade, somehow manage to have autism rates so low they’re practically a statistical rounding error (like 1 in 10,000 instead of the CDC’s 1 in 36). No childhood cancer clusters, no peanut-allergy epidemics, no exploding ADHD diagnoses. Just kids running around barefoot in barn muck, drinking raw milk, and somehow not dropping dead of “vaccine-preventable” diseases every flu season. Weird, right? Meanwhile Big Pharma’s revenue charts look like a heart-attack EKG every time another state adds a religious exemption or RFK Jr. breathes in the general direction of a microphone. Coincidence? Or did someone at CDC HQ hit the big red “Emergency Reassurance” button because the gravy train was about to derail into a cornfield full of unvaccinated, suspiciously healthy Pennsylvania Dutch kids? But sure, trust the science™ that needs a quarterly press conference to remind us water is wet and the control group living right down the road isn’t actually a control group… they’re just “under-reported.” Uh-huh. Pass the raw butter, folks; something’s definitely fishy, and it ain’t the Amish well water.
Lisa at Whatfinger News
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