Welcome to the only corner of the internet where we refuse to pretend the 800-pound gorilla in the oncology ward is just “really into CrossFit.” This section is dedicated to those masterpieces of journalistic gymnastics where the headline screams “Mystery! Healthy Teens Suddenly Riddled with Stage-4 Everything!” and the article spends 2,000 words discussing diet, stress, microplastics, 5G towers, bad vibes, and the alignment of Saturn, yet somehow forgets the one thing every single case has in common: the kid rolled up his sleeve for the “safe and effective” miracle juice that was gonna save Grandma. You know the script by now, I hope you do at least. Whatfinger News readers are all in as we are the most informed readers on the net….:
- “Doctors are “baffled” (translation: gagged).
-Experts are “urgently studying” (translation: urgently burying).
-The phrase “since 2021” mysteriously appears in every chart but never in the conclusion.
We’re here to stomp around the room, point at the obvious pachyderm taking a dump on the chemo chair, and scream the quiet part out loud:
“Yeah, no shit the 22-year-old marathon runner needed a heart transplant. He didn’t eat too many Skittles; he got the clot-shot trifecta and a lollipop for bravery. ”Expect entries like:
- “Aggressive cancers in teens at record highs!” (Subtext: “Please don’t notice they all have the same new hobby called myocarditis.”)
- “Sudden athlete deaths skyrocketing!” (Subtext: “We swear it’s climate anxiety, not the experimental gene therapy we mandated.”)
- “Doctors warn of alarming rise in 30-year-old widows!” (Subtext: “Thoughts and prayers, but no autopsies, please.”)
Dark humor? Absolutely. Because if we don’t laugh, we’ll scream; and screaming scares the normies who still think “rare side effect” means it only happens to someone else’s kid. So grab your popcorn (organic, seed-oil-free, obviously), settle in, and watch us drag the Deep State’s favorite elephant into the spotlight; trunk, tusks, Pfizer logo tattoo, and all. Deep State Elephant in the Room: Where the cause is never a mystery… just forbidden.
New autopsy report drops tomorrow. Place your bets: “Died Suddenly of Perfectly Normal Reasons #3,487.”
“Young people diagnosed with cancer have highest risk of developing most aggressive form, study finds. ”Translation from Corporate-Speak to English:
“Healthy teens and twenty-somethings are suddenly growing Stage-4 turbo-tumors faster than TikTok trends, and we have absolutely no idea why… wink wink, nothing to do with that experimental gene therapy we forced on them in 2021, move along. ”Duh doesn’t even cover it.
Ten years ago, an 18-year-old dying of colon cancer was a tragic one-in-a-million story.
Now it’s Tuesday. Ten years ago, a 22-year-old varsity athlete collapsing mid-game from “sudden adult death syndrome” was unheard of.
Now the stadium has a defibrillator in every row and the cheerleaders know CPR. But sure, Daily Mail, let’s blame “stress,” “poor diet,” and “climate anxiety.”
Anything except the elephant doing cartwheels in the chemo ward wearing a Pfizer T-shirt and a “Trust the Science” party hat. We’re not boiling frogs anymore; we’re pressure-cooking them.
And pressure cookers have this nasty habit of exploding when you ignore the whistle too long. The rage is simmering, folks.
It’s in the dad who just buried his vaccinated 19-year-old daughter.
It’s in the mom watching her 16-year-old son’s heart EKG look like a seismograph during an earthquake.
It’s in every comment section, every private Telegram group, every whispered conversation at the gas pump:
“How many kids have to die before someone does something? ”History says the answer is always “one more.”
One more obituary, one more “baffled doctors” article, one more smug fact-check calling you a conspiracy theorist for noticing patterns even a golden retriever could spot. Then… BAM.
The lid blows off.
The frog doesn’t just jump out; he brings friends with rifles. The Deep State and Big Pharma execs think their gated communities and private security details will save them.
Cute.
The French aristocracy thought the same thing right up until the guillotine got airdropped into their dinner parties. I’m not calling for violence.
I’m calling for awareness that violence is what happens when peaceful change is deliberately suffocated for years. The anger meter is pegged.
The fuse is lit.
All that’s missing is the spark. And every new article pretending the elephant isn’t there just pours another gallon of gasoline on the pile. Sleep tight, Davos class.
Your rude awakening has a snooze button, but it’s wearing out fast. Deep State Elephant in the Room
Where the cause is never a mystery… just criminally unmentionable. Read it, share it, rage about it.
Because silence is how they finish the job.
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