You Can’t Make This Up (Yes, Really)
- AP Drops 32-Paragraph Rant Blaming Your Cat’s Carbon Pawprint for Climate Doom – Because Who Needs Real News?
In a masterclass of journalistic self-parody, the Associated Press unleashes a novella-length screed on how Fluffy’s existential guilt is melting the ice caps faster than Gavin Newsom’s approval ratings. Thirty-two paragraphs of pearl-clutching hysteria later, we’re all supposed to apologize to the planet for scratching behind Fido’s ears. Next up: “Breathing: The Silent Killer of Ozone Layers.”
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2025/11/associated-press-publishes-absurd-video-targeting-pet-ownership/ - Pelosi Crowns Trump ‘Worst Thing on Earth’ – Right After Calling Him a ‘Vile Creature’ in Viral Word-Vomit Fest
Nancy Pelosi, fresh off her latest Botox-fueled fever dream, declares Donald J. Trump the absolute nadir of earthly existence on CNN – because nothing says “stateswoman” like comparing a guy to a sewer rat while your party’s polling like a lead balloon. Conservatives on X are erupting faster than Vesuvius, turning her gaffe into a meme apocalypse. Who needs policy when you’ve got personal vendettas this unhinged?
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/conservatives-erupt-social-media-over-absurd-pelosi-comment-calling-trump-worst-thing-earth - Sen. Mark Kelly Calls Pentagon Probe into His ‘Seditious’ Military Mutiny Vid ‘Almost Comical’ and ‘Absurd’
Arizona’s astronaut-turned-Dem-senator drops a viral clip urging troops to ignore “illegal orders” (read: Trump’s), sparking a DoD investigation that could land him in hot water hotter than re-entry. Kelly’s response? “It’s comical!” – as if comparing himself to Captain Picard isn’t the height of space cadet delusion. Meanwhile, Trump’s tweeting “DEATH PENALTY!” and the GOP popcorn sales are through the roof. Beam me up, Scotty – this clown car’s orbiting absurdity.
https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2025/11/25/mark-kelly-pentagon-investigation-of-me-almost-comical-absurd/
And one from the Left…
ICE Snatches Iranian Studies Professor Because Apparently Knowing Stuff About Iran Is Now a Felony
Congratulations, America! Your tax dollars just paid for a SWAT team to kidnap a tenured nerd at the airport because his syllabus contained the word “Persia.” Next week they’ll start waterboarding history majors for mentioning the Roman Empire.
https://www.newsweek.com/ice-detains-university-of-oklahoma-professor-with-h-1b-visa-colleague-says-11103040 – Now this is an outrage – but I have a feeling this fellow is going to be connected to some terror group. In the mean time though, the Trump Admin looks bad for this…, no?
Beth at Whatfinger News.
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