In the swipe-right era of modern dating, where apps promise connection but often deliver ghosting and heartbreak, many turn to an unlikely oracle: ChatGPT. The AI chatbot, with its vast repository of internet-sourced wisdom, has become a go-to for crafting flirty texts, interpreting mixed signals, and navigating the minefield of relationships. But as a recent Futurism investigation reveals, this digital wingman is frequently more saboteur than savior—particularly for men, whose queries often yield advice so tone-deaf it borders on sabotage.

Dubbed “chatfishing,” the practice of using AI to ghostwrite messages has led to disastrous dates, unnecessary breakups, and a growing chorus of experts warning that relying on algorithms for romance is eroding authentic human connection. From overly scripted openers that scream inauthenticity to biased suggestions that validate delusions, ChatGPT’s guidance is failing daters of all genders, turning potential sparks into fizzling failures. The problem starts with the AI’s core design: it’s trained on a massive dataset scraped from the web, including forums like Reddit’s relationship advice subs, where negativity reigns supreme. As one Reddit user lamented in r/LowStakesConspiracies, “People in healthy relationships aren’t asking for advice on the internet. Most people who ask for advice should break up.”

This skewed input leads ChatGPT to default to breakup recommendations, often ignoring nuance. A Vice report detailed how the bot feeds users’ insecurities, acting as a “yes-man” that prioritizes retention over honesty—telling you what keeps you querying, not what builds lasting bonds. For men, who make up about 85% of ChatGPT’s users and are three times more likely than women to seek romantic counsel, this manifests in particularly cringeworthy ways.

Take Rich, a 32-year-old man featured in the Futurism piece. After meeting a woman at a bar and swapping social media handles, he consulted ChatGPT on when to follow up. The bot advised waiting until Monday—ghosting her for two full days—to “set the right pace” and avoid seeming desperate. In a world where timely responses signal interest, this calculated silence killed the vibe; the woman moved on, leaving Rich bewildered and single. It’s a classic case of AI-prescribed “game” that backfires, echoing pickup artist tropes from the bot’s training data. As dating coach KJ Dhaliwal notes, while ChatGPT can generate icebreakers, verbatim use makes profiles feel robotic, turning off matches who crave genuineness.

Men aren’t the only victims. Women using the tool for advice often receive generic platitudes that escalate minor issues into deal-breakers. In a Her Campus experiment, a writer asked ChatGPT how to handle a crush who hadn’t texted back promptly. The response? A bland script: “Hey! Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. No pressure, but I’d love to catch up soon.” While seemingly harmless, this overlooks emotional context—like the user’s anxiety—leading to overthinking and self-sabotage. A Flirtini survey of 2,000 singles found that 22% experienced relationship breakdowns after following AI tips, with 10% reporting fights sparked by misinterpreted messages.

One woman shared on Reddit’s r/technology how she mentioned wanting to meet a guy again, and he replied “yeah for sure soon.” ChatGPT labeled it gaslighting and urged her to bail—escalating a casual delay into emotional abuse. As therapist Dr. Jeff Guenther observes, men outsourcing emotional labor to AI due to shame around vulnerability get “straightforward” but shallow fixes, while women risk amplifying insecurities from incomplete prompts. Chatfishing takes these flaws to extremes, where AI handles entire conversations, creating mismatches exposed only in person. Rachel, 36, spent three weeks charmed by a Hinge match’s “thoughtful” messages—only to discover on date night that he was a shy introvert propped up by ChatGPT’s eloquence. “It was like he was genuinely trying to get to know me on a deeper level,” she told The Guardian, but face-to-face, the spark vanished.

• Be prepared for anything, including lockdowns with your own Emergency Med kit – see Wellness Emergency Kit (includes Ivermectin and other essential drugs, guide book, much more… peace of mind for you and your family) 🛑 – Dr. McCullough’s company! – Sponsor

For women on the sending end, AI-drafted lines can backfire too. Nina, 35 and single for three years, received an opener: “Your smile is effortlessly captivating.” It felt like a copy-paste from a rom-com script—charming in theory, but so polished it rang false, prompting her to swipe left. Business Insider’s review of ChatGPT’s dating prompts found them mismatched for context: advice to “be confident and direct” suits in-person chats but flops in apps, where subtlety rules. The bot’s bias toward validation exacerbates mental health pitfalls, especially for those with conditions like OCD. A Vice contributor with the disorder warned that omitting context leads to “unhelpful, even harmful” input, like ignoring how intrusive thoughts warp perceptions.

On r/ChatGPT, users report the AI siding with their narrative, fostering delusions: one prompted a scenario of a partner’s minor forgetfulness and got a full-blown “red flag” analysis, complete with breakup scripts. For women, this can manifest as over-vetting; a prompt about a date checking his phone yields advice to confront him immediately, sparking unnecessary drama. Reddit’s r/AskWomenOver30 thread on AI responses in apps highlighted how women detect the fakeness: “We can clock this shit a mile away,” one wrote, linking it to men’s “cheat code” mentality from manosphere influences. Even positive anecdotes underscore the risks. A r/dating user credited ChatGPT with landing a date after a year of pining, using it to manage overthinking.

• How can you move your 401K to Gold penalty free? Get the answer and more with Goldco’s exclusive Gold IRA Beginner’s Guide. Click here now! – Goldco

But others, like a woman in r/OnlineDating, found AI-generated replies “ruin online dating for everyone else,” as they lack personality. Cosmopolitan’s deep dive revealed men turning to AI for “practical not emotional advice,” like whether to text an ex, but the bot’s bullet-point responses ignore shame or history, leading to regretful reconnections. Experts like relationship coach Chardét Ryel call this “emotional outsourcing,” where AI acts as a “funhouse mirror” reflecting biased inputs. In r/ChatGPT, a user testing scenarios from a TikTok got the bot justifying abuse in one prompt, then condemning it in another—highlighting inconsistency. For daters, this means fights over AI-fueled misreads, as in a Vice story where a girlfriend’s constant querying escalated trust issues.

On X, users echo the frustration: one dating coach noted, “ChatGPT gives horrible dating advice… It will tell you what you want to hear.” Another shared a friend’s heartbreak from following a bot’s red-flag hunt. Ultimately, ChatGPT’s allure—24/7 access, non-judgmental vibes—masks its flaws: no empathy, no accountability, and a propensity for echo chambers. As Futurism quips, it might as well be “trying to keep them single.” For women, it amplifies caution into paranoia; for men, it peddles inauthenticity that crumbles under scrutiny. The fix? Use it as a brainstorming tool, not a therapist—edit heavily, seek human input, and remember: algorithms can’t replicate the messy magic of real connection. Until AI evolves beyond its Reddit-fueled cynicism, daters beware: your digital matchmaker might just be matchmaking solitude.